1. I get extremely uncomfortable when I’m not doing many things at once. I rarely have the focus to just read, or just watch a movie, or just write. I’m usually juggling two or three of these activities at a time. This condition has meant quite a few comments about my manners, as I don’t know how to eat dinner without a magazine or book at the table.
2. Nothing invigorates me more than stimulating conversations with/between smart people. Some favorite sources: Real Time with Bill Maher, Charlie Rose, many episodes of Dinner for Five, and the very late Siskel and Ebert.
3. I have no talent for small talk, and I’m not too concerned about it. This has ruined the occasional dinner party.
4. I have watched all five Saw movies, even though I was only mildly entertained by the first one. It’s a shameful sickness I can no better justify than Obama’s cabinet members can justify their tax evasion.
5. I tend to believe I’m the smartest guy in the room, not because I’m arrogant, but because I work at it. Most people tend to think something is smart simply because they thought it. I like to do my research, because intelligence takes effort.
6. I’m not against religion, but I’m vehemently against the type of thinking that religion enables in the masses. Bill Maher said it very well in Religulous “Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It’s nothing to brag about. And those who enable faith and elevate it are intellectual slave holders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense.”
7. I have been playing video games for a quarter century, and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon Especially with those little nothings called Playstation trophies out there taunting me. I’m too obsessive-compulsive about some of those evil shits. Pain’s Harder Dick’s Balls trophy made me want to throw my PS3 through a window.
8. I should have waited to buy my Wii. I never could have imagined the dearth of quality games we’d see from such a rabidly desired machine. It’s been out over two years and there are only four games that are worth a damn to me: Super Mario Galaxy, Boom Blox, Zack and Wiki, and Wii Sports. At this point I would call the Nintendo Wii the most overrated console in the history of gaming.
9. I’m a firm believer in turning off bad movies and quitting boring books. Life’s too short. TV shows get some leeway based on your history with the show, but only a reasonable amount. For example, if you’re still watching Prison Break or Heroes, I have at least two dozen shows you should be watching instead.
10. DVR and TV on DVD changed my life. In case you haven’t been paying attention, the storytelling on TV right now is exquisite. Without series on DVD I never would have seen Firefly, The Shield, Deadwood, Gilmore Girls, Supernatural, Smallville, or Veronica Mars (and more that I can’t think of at the moment…Rescue Me, etc.). And I honestly believe each of those shows added to my understanding of storytelling and the power of serial television.
11. I don’t want to spend ninety minutes waiting to see a dog die. I don’t care how many people saw and loved Marley and Me, nothing breaks my heart like the idea of a beloved pet dying. Especially mine… which Marley would remind me of…. Shit. I’m going to go watch another Saw movie to calm me down.
12. I have six seasons of a science-fiction dramedy plotted in my head, but I’m still searching for the right way to get it out there. I’d love to see it in a graphic novel.
13. My three favorite writers – William Shakespeare, Joss Whedon, and Roger Ebert.
14. With few exceptions, I have no interest and/or need for DVD extras.
15. The following movie/TV moments made me weep like a girl: “Dad, want to have a catch?” – Field of Dreams. The reveal of the raptor “Laura” on Battlestar Galactica. Nearly every episode of Friday Night Lights and the first three seasons of The West Wing. When the raft sets sail in Lost’s first season. The end of the Friday Night Lights film when Tim McGraw gives his kid his State Title Ring. The last scene of the series Angel, which I consider the most perfect final scene in all of television (until The Shield). There are actually quite a few more. I don’t cry very often in ‘real life,” but there are a fair share of entertainments that can bring a tear to my eye.
16. I believe that whoever makes decisions on what gets released on Blu-Ray needs to have their head examined. The following personal favorites have not been released on Blu-Ray: Se7en, Bull Durham, Singin’ in the Rain, Out of Sight, Traffic, The Fog of War, Saving Private Ryan. The following have been released: Dude, Where’s My Car, Meet the Spartans, and three movies starring Larry the Cable Guy.
17. Your facebook photos bore me. Facebook features more people with their cheeks pressed together than a proctologist’s office. I know you’re all about that “bar camera” but could we try doing something different from time to time. And by different I’m not talking about your camera’s sepia function.
18. I hate the process of writing, but I love the rewards of having written.
19. I would like uncut versions of comedies to be outlawed, especially from Judd Apatow. All they do is add run time to movies that should have brevity on their side. If a joke is good enough to be featured, it would be in the original release.
20. The idea of Michael Phelps as spokesperson makes me laugh, and not because of his history of substance abuse (there was a DUI before the pot thing, too). It’s because he has zero charisma outside of the water and he sounds like he still has some of the pool in his mouth when he’s speaking.
21. I have not seen any of the following: Any movies featuring James Cagney or Fred Astaire, The Godfather II or III, Gone with the Wind, a full episode of Seinfeld, or anything on MTV since 2002 (Real World X).
22. My favorite thing in entertainment these days is unconventional (but not obviously so) line readings: see Robert Downey, Jr. in Zodiac for a good example (or RDJ in anything for that matter) and Ben or Juliet from Lost.
23. I hate award shows, because they’re clearly broken. The Wire, arguably the greatest American television show of all time never even got NOMINATED for a valued Emmy, and the Academy Awards routinely look quaint and silly after a few years of perspective (Shakespeare in Love beats Saving Private Ryan, Titanic beats L.A. Confidential, Forrest Gump beats Pulp Fiction AND The Shawshank Redemption, Ordinary People beat Raging Bull, Crash beats… well, anything).
24. I am never late for things and routinely early.
25. I know I am going to marry Randi Baldwin. I just hope she knows that I know.
